Check The Labels
by Randomus Prime
Summary: Always double check your purchases, Kup and The Dinobots didn't and look at what their trip ended up to be. Mind-scarring crack, Sticky, with a capitol S, and multiple Mech/Mech Slash, with a capitol S too


**Check The Labels**

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><p><strong>Author's Foreword<strong>

**To be honest, I am not really all that proud of writing this, in fact, when the idea was birthed inside my head I was actually disgusted with myself. Then I told C.M.D. about it, I think both of us ended up getting thoroughly disturbed ...**

**But nonetheless, I actually wrote this with her encouragement and in our opinions it actually worked out quite nicely! I mean sure I am not the best at writing yaoi, we all know that but I would like to think that I got better! I still facepalm though and shiver a tiny bit from this however, believe me, this is not the most disturbing thing I wrote up to this point ... I think I will get canned for posting the other thing I wrote ... but in any case, this ... I have no idea how my mind put those things together to be honest and I do want to find out ...**

**Well, I had to think about a load of the scene and who gets partnered up with whom, what exactly happens and when, how they will react to this and many more things on top of that. I guess I can feel good about myself for the efforts I put into this, I hope you are not disturbed much ...**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Delivery for Grimlock! Thank you for using Swindle's Reliable Deliveries! Here is your free Ick-Yak baby!"<p>

"Me, Grimlock, say Ick-Yak, cute!"

"Eh, Grimlock, they're cute when they're small but when these things grow up- eh, on second thought, Grimlock, never mind. Ya got nothin' tah worry 'bout, kid!" Kup turned to Hot Rod. "A delivery boy, eh?"

"This is just a part-time…"

"I knew you had potential, kid!"

"… job, at the end of the month I should come back to my full-time."

"Ultra Magnus helpin' ya out?"

"Ahem, in any case, sign here and here. No, Grimlock, sign, don't eat it! NO! GRIMLOCK! DON'T EAT IT!"

"Grimlock not know what to do with stick!"

"Grimlock, it's called a pen."

"Grimlock bash pen brain!"

"Urgh, Grimlock, let me handle this," Kup swiftly snagged the little tablet out of his huge hands and wrote in the Dinobot leader's name before the mech took out his energo-sword, "here."

"All right, you guys have fun."

"See ya," Kup quickly closed the door and turned to Grimlock, holding the delivered package with a wide grin on his face, "ehehe, let's see what this thing can do! Slag! Snarl! Swoop! Sluge! We got it! Let's go!"

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><p>It was a marvelous day: the birds were chirping and flying for their lives from the huge metallic beasts, listening to the billions of stories coming from the gray car, the sun was bright and beaming; rare shapeless clouds filled the sky and the woodland critters were running away to save themselves from the horrible fate of being mercilessly squished by accident.<p>

"We are here!" Kup stopped the five Dinobots at a clearing in the woods. "All right, let's set up and get this started!"

With those words said, Swoop opened up his storage compartment, revealing a rather huge cloth and gently spreading it over the ground. Sludge transformed and gave Grimlock the basket he was carrying on his back, while Snarl and Slag put down energon appetizers of all kinds.

The old Autobot took out the mysterious bottle that he and Grimlock ordered and, after making sure everybody sat down on the ground, the gray 'bot poured the enigmatic, light purple liquid into glasses.

"Huh, this is what grain based vodka looks like? Weird. This reminds me of Blahblahblah I, the Cabbagemen were …"

"Grimlock, say drink! For Kup, for Dinobots, for Autobots, for Grimlock!"

"Liquid not taste like vodka," Swoop coughed, "Swoop feel funny …"

"Me, Sludge, too, feel weird," the dinosaur smashed his leg on the ground.

"Me, Slag, confused. Vodka taste like Hot Rod and Ultra Magnus!"

Snarl made a loud, quacking noise but restrained himself from voicing his opinion on the drink.

"Eh, darn, it does!" Kup wobbled a little after gulping down his whole glass. "The slag is this?"

The mysterious liquid quickly made its way through the huge mechanical bodies, spreading a very strange feeling to every metallic cell of their construction. A feeling very strange, very new to the young Dinobots …

"Oh, crap …"

… but not unfamiliar to Kup.

"Gr-gr-gr-graaaaAAAAAA!"

Slag ripped off his crotch piece and revealed a thick, long, cylindrical object standing upright from between his legs, with a rather big mushroom cap and the tip leaking with some sort of liquid. Immediately he grabbed it and began to stroke it with fast, rhythmic movements.

"Oh, shit …"

Shortly after the triceratops began performing an act he understood nothing about, the rest of the Dinobots followed his example, filling the forest with thundering roars and hellish screams. Grimlock was the last to succumb.

Kup knew it was wrong and extremely disturbing but what could he do; the aphrodisiac began taking the better of the oldbot.

"Hey, Grimlock," the gray car pushed himself against the T-rex, rubbing their chests together in the process, "this'll be very weird …"

Before he could finish his sentence, Grimlock grabbed the story teller's head and rammed his gigantic spike down his throat:

"GRAAAAAAAAA!"

Arching his back from the newfound pleasure, the Dinobot commander was sickened by his own actions, yet, somehow, this was making it all that much more hotter as he began to piston his hips forward into Kup's open mouth; transfluid trickling down the older mech's chin..

The rest of the Autobots finished one by one, shooting their spunk all over the place; covering each other, the grass, Grimlock and their gray friend in a sticky white-ish, yellow-ish substance.

"AAAAAAaaaaahhhh …"

It wasn't enough, this was just a mere warm up. Now, masturbating even harder, the realization that it was completely impossible for them to satisfy themselves with just this dawned on them with every passing nanoklik. Looking around for any way to relieve the waves of this strange new desire, all four pairs of optics landed on Kup.

"Nggghhhh …"

Grimlock was showing no mercy, the pleasure he was getting, the fulfillment was too great even for him to resist. Deeper and deeper did he shove his spike with every thrust when finally he finished with a great roar, making Kup swallow most of it in just a few gulps.

"K-k-k-Kup …"

"Bleeeeeergh …" the gray bot spat out to the ground what was left in his mouth. Then he felt something he thought became impossible for the Autobot to do after all these millions of years: his valve began to lubricate, "Gr-Grimlock! NGGGHHHHH!"

Interrupted again, this time by Slag, who without any warning began ramming his unit into the oldbot's port, and Swoop, just like Grimlock, grabbed the gray car's helmet and made use of his mouth.

"GRARGH!" Snarl and Sludge jumped on Grimlock, flipped him face down while he was recovering from own his overload. They fought for a few seconds about who would go where, when the brontosaurus slipped, losing his balance. He tried grabbing his commander in hopes of retaining his posture but only ended up sliding the T-rex onto himself as he hit the ground; the stegosaurus jumping on top and driving his spike into Grimlock' dripping valve, shortly followed by Sludge. Both nibbled on their leader's neck cables while they ran their hands on his slippery spike.

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

The Dinobot commander finally came to his senses and in the split second lost them again. A whole network of sensors he never even knew existed, were shooting off such pleasure that he didn't mind the pain of two spikes, in sync, entering and exiting his valve as the glossas of the two were beginning to drive him insane.

"K-k-Kup!" Swoop, after a few more powerful pelvic thrusts, finally finished into the oldbot's mouth, too, making him gobble up all his juices.

"NGRAAAAA!"

Slag was violently devastating the gray car's aft each time he entered, going that much further, feeling every fold inside. It didn't help that Kup wasn't ready for such a penetration, the valve walls tightening further and further around the invading spike, bringing the triceratops to a quick overload.

"NNGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kup wanted it, oh, freaking hell how much he wanted it! He couldn't believe that he never got back to that part of life, how satisfying it was! However, his cable was harder than rock, begging to be used, so the oldbot made the best use of his hands that he could as Swoop provided support for his upper body.

All three finished one after another, filling the gray bot from both ends, having the pressure rise so much that excess drops flew out of his valve onto the two Dinobots. Cumming last, Kup's spunk hit the ground with a powerful stream.

"S-Swoop, want!" The pterodactyl got on his fours in front of the Autobot, slipping his fingers into his valve, spreading around the lubricant all over his aft.

Without thinking, Kup jumped him and quickly entered the flier, spike red hot from the desire to be used. Grabbing his hips for better control and for faster speed, the gray bot let himself loose, sending Swoop into a spiral of pleasure, rolling his optics, making laughing noises as he was literally fragged silly.

Angry that Slag was left out now, his valve desiring attention, he took the empty bottle and with a few fluid motions, he shoved the whole thing in there. Holding it at the bottom, he began jumping up and down on it, pleasantly stretching his inner walls.

"GRIIIIIMLOOOOOOOOOCK!"

Snarl and Sludge screamed out as they released their load into their commander. The pleasure they derived from their two spikes rubbing not just against each other but also the virgin valve of the T-rex, was more than they could handle, losing themselves in lala-land.

Taking advantage of the situation, Grimlock put the stegosaurus on top of the brontosaur and alternating between the two fully exposed and richly lubricated valves, he began doing what his body demanded him to do.

Still in dreamland but feeling the great big spike of their leader enter them, the two began using their glossas as instinct dictacted, full out passionately kissing each other.

Slag, now even angrier that he was left out, made his way towards the three and shoved his aft in the middle of the kissing. Immediately the two switched their target to the triceratops's valve as he began stroking his spike again. The two glossas, as if knowing what they were doing, gently slithered their way inside, making Slag scream from pleasure and pushing his aft further into their faces. Snarl used his hands to level himself as Sludge pulled his easily enraged comrade back so that the stegosaurus could take care of his valve while the brontosaur sucked him off. Taking their heads in each of his hands, Slag began moving his hips in rhythm with the other two.

"SWOOP WANT!"

Losing his strength, drooling all over the place, the pterodactyl was practically held by Kup's strong hands. The gray bot squatted, grabbed the flier by his shoulders and with fast, decisive movements, he quickly brought both to a raging overload and throwing them into recharge.

Cumming from the two mouths servicing him from front and back, Slag pushed his hips as hard as he could into Sludge's face and met his completion in a violent spasm that had him arching his back, almost ending up on top of Snarl.

Seeing as taking turns with the other two mechs' valves was not working out too well, Grimlock let out a low, angry growl, got up, picked up Snarl, spread his legs and holding the Autobot in midair, he resumed ramming his dripping spike into his soldier's valve. Sludge slowly got on his knees and used his glossa to lick up the spattering fluids off of their heated plating as they rocked.

Unable to take anymore of the overpowering pleasure, Snarl overloaded again all over the brontosaur's face, dropped by Grimlock to the ground and went immediately into recharge.

Still desiring more, the T-rex pushed Sludge onto his back, grabbed his legs, spreading them out as wide as he could. Bending over his soldier, he began to overwhelm the other's valve with a series of fast and powerful movements.

"GR-GR-GRIMLOCK, BEST!", he screamed out, having his aft rammed over and over again by his leader.

The interface was greatly satisfying; it made both beyond happy from the sensation of fragging and getting fragged.

Finally, Grimlock's thrusts became stronger, faster, deeper as he began to overload for the umpteenth time already. The T-Rex released a roar so loud that made all the critters in the forest run for their lives, trees losing hundreds of leaves in their frantic scrambling. Pushing his spike as far as he could, the commander finally released his load.

"Sludge, good!"

The euphoria that the brontosaur got from getting filled brought him to his overload as well, shooting his transfluids over his own face as he went into recharge.

"M-me, Grimlock …" he couldn't stay online any more, his body demanded rest, "nghuuuuuu …"

With a loud thud, the T-rex fell down to the ground.

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><p>"Eh, guys …" everybody woke up and with a horrible realization of what happened, Kup was eager to take the initiative to clean up this mess, "… as great as all this felt, this. Never. Happened. Got it?"<p>

"Dinobots! Me, Grimlock, say this never happen!"

In response, the other four growled affirmatively.

"Good! Now, let's clean ourselves up and hope that nobody sees us …"

Grabbing their stuff, Kup and the five Dinobots made their way to the closest river to wash off any evidence of the "fun" they had, oblivious to a metallic bird flying away a minute after they left.

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

"Well, Percepteh, you are such a naughty 'bot! With the twins gone on a mission and the Technobots stationed on Cybertron, yer really aching, aren't ya?"

"Oh, dear, could we not …"

"Nah, dun worry, relax, jus' teasin' ya there. Hey, I ordered a very special lil' somethin' jus' fer this occasion!"

"Oh? What is it?"

"Glad you asked!"

As Wheeljack was looking for that "lil' somethin'", Perceptor thought about what the engineer said. With his twin and Technobot paramours gone, the only one left was the crazy scientist. The microscope remembered well the nights the two spent together: piquant, eccentric, crazy, wonderful, warm. Then things just happened. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe took a great liking to the mech and before you know it, the Technobots were engaging in such activities with the scientist.

Both of them needed it, the stress was getting the better of the two Autobots and this seemed better than going fishing with Hot Rod or sky-diving with the Aerialbots.

"Here yeh go!" Wheeljack came back with a rather big bottle containing a strange transparent liquid and poured it in two glasses, giving one to Perceptor, "Well, bottoms up!"

"Oh! Dear! This is vodka!"

"Huh, this is weird, must have made a mistake at the post office. Hm, I wonder where that aphrodisiac I ordered …"

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><p>P.S. Yes, the orders got mixed up …<p>

P.P.S. Yes, it was Lazerbeak. Yet again, the Decepticons saw the footage … Soundwave doesn't know what to do, his spying cassetticons keep stumbling on these kinds of footages which makes him think that the only thing the Autobots do is have sex and drink themselves into stasis …

P.P.P.S. Nope, it never happened, it was never mentioned; it was not forgotten that easily but it was never mentioned again …

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><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>

**Hope you are not too scarred for life, I know I was quite a bit.**

**I thought it would seem cliche to have Kup and Grimlock interface so I decided to avoid that as much as I could but still leave a little bit of interaction there. I would imagine all six would spend timeless sleepless nights with their optics wide open or look each other in the optics for months ...**

**Can't say life is ever dull, huh?**

**I had to rewrite some parts in order for them to make sense. As you saw I took a shot or two at Hot Rod and it felt gooooood. How does that make you feel, Hot Rod fangirls? Trololol!**

**I didn't try to jam in as much humor as I could, only in parts I felt it was appropriate and adequate because often times I see some piece of media where they try to shove in jokes into every single line and it doesn't work out at all. Actually, when it comes down to joke amount and delivery I think Shrek 2 is probably the best: the humor wasn't overboard, the jokes weren't stretched, sure it was a little silly here and there but the delivery was quite nice and the jokes weren't too culturally specific, some of them were but to most of them people could relate somehow or knew the material.**

**Some times I find myself repeating too much and I see that in a huge number of things I read these days. You know how you can avoid that? USE. A. THESAURUS. Just google a thesaurus! It is really that simple!**

**I kept repeating names of the characters in this fic and it got very tedious to read so I looked for other means to refer to character such as what they transform into, they specialties, their colors, their rank, certain nicknames and other things. For example: Grimlock, T-Rex, dinobot, sub-commander, team leader, Grimmy, etc.**

**Hope you enjoyed the fic!**

**Thanks a load to C.M.D. for helping out with the fic, reviewing, editing, laughing, getting slightly mentally scarred and so on!**


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